Nu le traduc pentru ca isi pierd farmecul:

An int, a char and a string walk into a bar and order some drinks. A short while later, the int and char start hitting on the waitress who gets very uncomfortable and walks away. The string walks up to the waitress and says “You’ll have to forgive them, they’re primitive types.

A programmer is walking along a beach and finds a lamp. He rubs the lamp, and a genie appears. “I am the most powerful genie in the world. I can grant you any wish, but only one wish. The programmer pulls out a map, points to it and says, “I’d want peace in the Middle East.” The genie responds, “Gee, I don’t know. Those people have been fighting for millenia. I can do just about anything, but this is likely beyond my limits.”
The programmer then says, “Well, I am a programmer, and my programs have lots of users. Please make all my users satisfied with my software and let them ask for sensible changes.”
At which point the genie responds, “Um, let me see that map again.”

The three most dangerous things in the world are a programmer with a soldering iron, a hardware engineer with a software patch, and a user with an idea.

Whats common between beggars and software engineers? They both ask the same question when meeting another one of their kind; Which platform are you working on?

When a programmer goes to bed he sets out 2 glasses on his bedside table:

• One glass is full of water, in case he wants to get a drink
• One glass is empty, in case he doesn’t